If He Wakes

An intriguing premise with a very surprising and disturbing twist. The complexity of the plot is well thought out with characters who are effectively crafted. But there are some issues with mechanics and grammar--she slips quite frequently into a pattern of run-on sentences, spliced commas, and awkward word choices. I got tired of hearing 'whilst' and also found myself distracted by British diction, words like 'buskers' 'bollard' 'flotsam'--I had no idea of their meaning, so they took me out of the story for a few seconds at a time. Another issue is the title--a terrible mistake and spoiler on the part of the author. A more relevant title would be something like "Where He Went". Zoe Lea has developed an unusual story with a lot of interesting angles. The beginning runs slow and I almost didn't continue with it after a few chapters, but I am glad I didn't give up on it. It got a lot better and started rolling at a decent speed as the level of mystery fleshed out more. I was confused as to why she chose to utilize the first person POV for Rachel, but the third person POV for Susie. Also, I did wonder what a particular character was trying to say at the end of the story, but the reader never gets to know. I think this element should have been played out a bit so that there was more closure in this delicate situation. But, Lea does possess a knack for surprising the reader. Even as she deals with dark subject matters, she keeps the reader safe from its talons, and I really appreciate writers who do that, who have both a conscience and a desire to find hope and victory, even in the most adverse situations.